Week 10: 8/5 - 8/11
WARNING: This entry contains excessive cynicism and will probably be a long-winded tirade against corporate culture. Also, I changed around the timing of the weeks to fit my time at SIGGRAPH into one entry.
I met up with Kate at the 28X bus stop to get to the airport on Saturday afternoon. Note, dear reader, that it costs $2.50 each way--an incredible bargain compared to the ~$40 it costs to take a taxi. The trip to San Diego was long and uneventful, although Liza met a cute guy who plans on going to school in NYC next year. I told her to jump on the opportunity (I mean, it's always good to have a guyfriend!), but she obviously hasn't spent time at a women's college. :P
SIGGRAPH is huge and exciting, but it's also part trade-show, so you'll find all sorts of brown-nosers, company lackeys, and commercial spin doctors, and that really got to me. Or maybe it's being force-fed all these logos and catchphrases by people trying to sell their products or maintain their company's profit margins. But, at the heart of it all, I think I was most distressed because the San Diego Convention Center housed the manifestation of my greatest fear: the rat race. It wasn't in-your-face, but I really couldn't help thinking about my future and how I desperately loathe becoming a cog in the huge capitalist machine. Oh god, I'm taking this on another level, aren't I? I'm just completely afraid of living a hand-to-mouth existence rendered mediocre by the lack of any self-actualization. I worry that once I graduate, all I face is my impending doom, that I'll constantly be struggling to stay afloat in our commercial society without losing my soul. Granted, I plan on going to graduate school, but ultimately nothing will stave off what is sure to come. I'm not afraid of paying the bills and having to settle down, but I'm not down with settling for the whole white picket fence deal. I'd have to be shot and dragged through the streets to take up a job working in some high-stress, 9-to-5 cubicle farm. I'll probably end up eating my words later. :( But why is there so much to deal with? Why can't we live simply and beautifully? I couldn't help but feeling really sorry for the numerous 30+-year-olds trying to pitch ideas to plain ol' PR folk, trying so hard to break in and achieve their dreams. It's a shame that I'd need a lot of money to start that artsy fartsy commune... Damn you, social stratification! accumulated privilege! disparities in wealth! Urgh, I feel like watching Reality Bites.
I'm going to be honest: I came for the SWAG. Did I get any? Not really, especially considering how much I had to pay out of my pocket just to attend. Kinda disappointing, especially since April told me about how great these events were for getting free t-shirts and neat stuff (guess I'll be going to the next Grace Hopper conference!), but I was mostly overwhelmed by being around so many people for a week. It was inspiring to meet all these people my own age who were so passionate about the industry and creating all this wonderful stuff. So yeah, it was another depressing reminder of how unproductive my life has been. I talked to a man on the bus about the game industry, and it basically killed the dream for me. Guess I don't have enough passion. Did I mention I was PMSing the entire time?
Despite everything, I had a great time getting to know my labmates and fellow DMP interns. Besides not being able to get into the ACM Student Party because us girls, with the exception of Theresa, were underage (I find this a sad, flagrant lack of consideration for its undergraduate members!), AJ, Liza, Theresa, Kate, and I hung out and had loads o' fun. We all had dinner on the final night and watched In the Land of Women on pay-per-view (Adam Brody is the cuteness; Meg Ryan needs to lay off the collagen). It was hard, because I knew it was yet another goodbye. Everything comes to an end, though, but it feels like graduating from high school over and over again! (Okay, that's exaggerating a little...)
Also, I did enjoy the various events and presentations, as well as the chance to get out and walk around San Diego. It's a lovely city--the weather is almost like Hawaii's, but slightly balmier. Anyway, I managed to catch all of the Animation Festival shorts, which were wonderful. I've developed a much greater appreciation for CG and the hard work it entails. At the Electronic Theater, I felt like shouting, "YeeaaAAAHHH, CMU!" when I saw the CG models of Mo and Justin shaking their groove thangs. It was awesome. :) They also opened the show by having volunteers from the audience play some old school games on the fabulously large screen. The special panels were also very cool (I used to dislike Shrek, actually, but I have an awful lot of respect for DreamWorks now), as was the tech exhibit, at which I was reminded of my being unable to afford cool gadgets (regrettably, a 3d projector that only requires $2000 in materials is still a tad bit beyond my reach). I also got to meet Geena Davis after her talk about See Jane, an organization dedicated to spreading awareness about the lack of female representation in media and entertainment. I took lots of photos, which you can check out here.
